Tuesday, October 4, 2011
Really fighting for my life
They are worth fighting for...I am worth fighting for...2 weeks ago I found out I am literally in a fight for my life...I have Endometrial cancer. 2 weeks ago, alot changed in my life...my perspective, my breathing, my focus--but not my Lord, he is never changing, ever constant.
I know He loves me, I KNOW he has a plan in this...a plan for my good and His glory. I know in his love there is no fear-his perfect love casts out all fear. I know the joy of the Lord is my strength...I will have joy within this season--not waiting til I am through it, but right here in it!
I will praise Him all of my days--yes even these! Am I concerned-yup, but not struck with terror, nope. Have I thought about dying, yup--but I am taking thoughts like that captive, because I know they are not godly, I know they will cause me to think things that are not true...God is faithful, every minute of everyday.
So, some facts---endometrial cancer starts in the lining of the uterus. Funny story: 6 years ago we moved to NY where I got to go to this amazing gynecologist. Because of a condition I have- she would regularly (every 6 months) give me a biopsy, it had become part of the "regular" routine. Over the last 2 years, due to mum's illness and passing, I hadn't gotten to my appointments--so when I went to see her in the beginning of August-the routine biopsy-I think may have saved my life. IF it had not been already in the routine--she wouldn't have done it, you see, the pap didn't show it, the in/out ultrasound didn't show it--ONLY the biopsy showed it! Right there, God is sooo faithful! 6 years ago, he set me up with my dr. I am a very blessed woman! It tells me so clearly that God has this all under control--He is aware of my difficulty, he is not leaving me! I know some may ask, why didn't he stop the cancer then? I don't know, what I do know is: He has a plan in this...for my good and His glory! He gives us opportunities to grow in Him, draw closer to Him and share His love with others--Praise God!
Is every minute of every day happy go lucky? Nope, but every minute of every day is an opportunity to choose to be...I hope more of my minutes I am choosing to be.
Other facts: Planning laproscopic surgery (radical hysterectomy with lymph node removal) hopefully by the end of October, 5-6 weeks of recovery is to be expected. If the cancer is contained completely within the uterus then I am home free--if it is outside whatsoever, then radiation and chemo may be necessary.
Well, guess that is it for now...sorry to lay this all on you. Don't be sad...I trust God knows what He is doing! I will ask though, please pray! Thank you!